Give them roots and wings

Samuel has the bad habit (which most last-born has, I think) of taking his brothers’ things without asking, especially when he is home and they are not.  He roams the house and freely touches and tinkers with whatever catches his fancy.

So today, he played with his brother’s newly bought Yoyo.  He accidentally dropped it on the floor and part of it fell off.  Samuel was rather alarmed because he knows he will get a bad scolding from his brother when he returned.  But the situation turned out slightly differently.

In the parenting course which Emund and I are facilitating, we teach parents that it is insufficient for children just to apologise and to seek forgiveness for the misdemeanour.  The children will also have to make restitution for the wrong they did.  Since Samuel broke the Yoyo, he would have to pay the brother back in cash, what the Yoyo cost, and an additional 20%.  He therefore owed $1.80.

I told Samuel – he would have to pay his brother some money.

He complained :”I have no money! I only have pretend money, ok?”

So I suggested that he should do some housework and earn some money, so he could pay his brother back.  I told him that he should mop the floor for 4 days, and I will pay him 50 cents for each day’s mopping.  He would earn $2 and he could keep 20 cents for himself.

(Elkan very kindly suggested that Samuel could use his Ang Pow money, but I rejected that suggestion, since my purpose was to teach Samuel a lesson and losing his Ang Pow money means nothing to Samuel at his current maturity level).

In response to my suggestion that he should do some housework, for example, mop the floor, Samuel complained again, “I cannot do that! Only big boys can! I am a small boy!”

I could not help but laugh at all his antics.  Samuel was not amused.  He was rather upset with me, and aggrieved at my heartless attitude.  “It’s not funny, ok?” he said.

After dinner, I told Samuel that he needed to mop the floor.  By that time, Edmund had returned home, and Elias, the owner of the Yoyo had asked him to fix the Yoyo.

So Samuel said:”Daddy already repaired!”.  So I made a concession and told Samuel that he would only need to pay his brother 50 cents as compensation.  Elias was very cooperative with me.  He explained to Samuel that since his Yoyo was sent for repair, he has lost the use of it for one day, and it was therefore fair for Samuel to compensate him.

Samuel kept silent.  He knew the net was closing in on him.

I told him to go and get a floor cloth from Kaka and to start mopping.

Lo and behold, he went to the broom cupboard! In all earnestness, he took out a broom, saying that he wanted to sweep the floor instead.  Good try.

We took the broom away from him, and held the floor cloth out towards him.  The whole world waited with abated breath.  He took the cloth, reluctantly.

In a last ditch attempt, he said that he doesn’t know how to mop the floor.  So I asked Kaka to show him how to do it.

So he mopped.

First, you take the cloth

Then you fold it

Then you start moping!

Once he started doing it, he was quite happy.  He did not object to me snapping away.

Yes, Samuel is smiling for the camera!

When he returned the cloth to Kaka, he even thanked her for teaching him how to mop the floor. He then cheerfully posed with his “hard-earned” 50 cents before passing it to Elias.

This is a precious fifty cents lesson.  Everyone at home knew what transpired. Samuel was not the only one who learned.  I think we are all winners today.