Give them roots and wings

Two days ago Elkan revealed something which made me very proud of him.  Elias was teasing Elkan to no end and I stopped him, saying that just because Elkan does not mind these comments as much as he does, does not mean that he should do it.  Elkan concurred with my comment.  He told Elias that although he is not as sensitive as Elias with regards to negative comments, it does not mean that he did not mind them at all.  Elkan then revealed that about two years back, in one of their arguments, he withheld comments which he knew would cause Elias to cry and he ended up crying instead.

I was amazed that Elkan, at age 9, had the mental and emotional maturity to do what he did.  I was also amazed that none of us knew about this (he did not think of telling anyone) till now, and it was revealed only in passing. When I asked him to repeat it to his father, he asked me to do it, as he felt shy about it.

My message to parents is this – listen to your children.  They might have made remarkable choices in their speech and action which would delight you, but which they did not think of telling you.  Children are guileless.  They do what they do with not much thoughts or premeditation.  They certainly will not have thought to inform us of all the beautiful and pure things they have done, to earn our favour. To them, perhaps, they were just doing what is natural to them, and they are not aware that such nobility is not common among the adult world, and are therefore heroic.