The village
Introduction
‘It takes a village to raise a child’ is an African quote made popular by Hilary Clinton who wrote a book by that name. In her book, she said that it is up to all of us, as a culture, to ensure that our children are well-cared for. Strangely, it was another book, with a very different focus that confirmed that belief for me, although it came as quite a shock at first.
In ‘The Tipping point’, Malcolm Gladwell quoted from Judith Harris’ argument and says that:
“peer influence and community influence are more important than family influence in determining how children turn out. Studies of juvenile delinquency and high school drop-out rates, for example, demonstrate that a child is better off in a good neighbourhood and a troubled family than he or she is in a troubled neighbourhood and a good family.”
Immediately after I read it, I was in a mini state of shock. It was rather devastating, for a mother who tried her best to give her children her best and her all, to read that what I can do seemed to matter so little to my children’s life and future. The good news is, I have found an answer to my seemingly state of helplessness, which I will share another time in the blog.
What is clear to me, however, is that my children do not live in a vacuum, and as they grow up, the level of influence my husband and I have over them will decrease. We will have lesser and lesser control over what they see, hear and say, and how they will decide and act. We as parents, therefore, must be part of a larger community, which will help to raise our children.
This community may be something we have a more active influence over, for example our extended family or cell group. Or it may be something we have little influence over, for example their schools or the nation. One thing for sure, our children’s village is getting bigger every day, with greater connectivity and faster information flow. This village will raise our children, whether we want it to, or whether we like it or not. This column is dedicated to this larger community. ~ Elisa
