不可全抛一片心?
However, there are some proverbs which I do not teach. For example, I skipped 丑人多作怪(fools like to show off). I thought that it was a rather negative thing to say of anyone.
Another recent one which I skipped was this – 逢人只说三分话，不可全抛一片心。
The English translation given by the book (as seen in the picture) is not completely correct. What it actually means is that ‘we cannot too easily trust others, but must withhold some part of ourselves’.
It is a piece of practical advice, and I think most people will not disagree with it.
But it is a proverb which is very close to my heart because unlike what it advocates, I constantly 全抛一片心 (give my whole heart).
I am not a kid anymore or even a fresh-faced adult just coming out to the society to work. I have lived long enough to know the consequences of giving my whole heart to all and sundry. It frequently comes back broken. Although in many cases, it was unintentional, or due to a simple misunderstanding, it still hurts.
I also know one thing – that the brokenness is going to get worse and worse, because many people I meet as I grow older seem to have a “harder and harder” heart.
But after all these years, I have decided that I will not change the way I deal with people (and it is not as if I have never broken anybody’s heart).
I think that a heart in pain is always better than a hardened heart.
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| Samuel – who loves the ‘swing playground’ because of the swing and the children! |
Samuel loves his friends – but it can cause him so much pain. Adults love him, but he does not always get along well with his friends.
Once, he sobbed bitterly after a playtime with his friends. He was made to be the ‘bad guy’ chasing his friends, when all he wanted was to play with them. He sobbed uncontrollably : “I am not the bad guy, they say I am the bad guy you know. I am not a bad guy, I am not a bad guy”.
My heart ached for him, because I was there and I witnessed the whole thing. The children did not want to play with him, and kept running away from him. He pursued them, but never succeeded in being part of their play. Through it all, he tried to be strong and started pouring his heart out to me only after we were alone.
What can I tell him? That they are not worthy friends to play with, that we will not play with them anymore? But they are simply children and all children can be cruel and self-centered. And I know that Samuel will not want to do that. No matter what they did to him, he will still want them as his friends. It is a commendable trait, and no one should rob him of that, least of all me.
I can only comfort him, and tell him that I love him, that he must forgive them.
I want my child to have a soft heart. One day, when my children are mature enough to understand, I will start telling them the stories of how I had my heart broken this time, and that time, and I chose to continue to love.
I want to tell them, that it is possible to live that way, and still be happy and full of joy.
I want to them to understand, and believe me, that it is the better way to live.
