Give them roots and wings

Elias was a very cute toddler.

He however, often caused us lots of heartaches, not because he misbehaved, but that he often bumped into things and hurt his head.

In so many of Elias’ old photos, he had a bruise on his head.  Hardly a week would pass without my mum telling me that he had knocked his head against the wall, pillar or the floor.

Bruise on the left

Bruise on the right

He is an excitable child, who throws himself with abandon into whatever and wherever his boyish spirit calls him.  He does not always think about the consequences and has complete faith in the beauty and protection of life.  Life, other people, and himself sometimes fail him, and so he has these bruises.

When he first started school in Primary One, he was very excited.  He prepared a wallet for himself, and wrote on it “For school, I love school”.  It is reflective of Elias’ love for life and his faith in the promises of joy and excitement that life brings.

Two years later, I found the same wallet with the words struck out.  He said :”School is not as fun as I thought it would be”.

In my mind, I see it as another bruise he suffered.  My heart went out to him, and I suggested that he writes “I love my family” instead.  So he did.

(Sadly, we can’t find the wallet anymore.  When we find it one day, I will upload the photo here).

I believe in the potential of Elias.  I had earlier written about his love for music and his creative spirit.  But growing up has been difficult for him.  It is getting more difficult for him now that he is at school.  His world has become more complicated and the demands have increased.  The world has numerous expectations of him, which he is not yet ready to meet.  He suffers bruises regularly, as he did as a toddler.  My heart aches for him, as it did when he was a toddler.

But I also believe that he has the capacity to overcome.  Elias is a boy who lives in the “now”.  When he is sad, he is sad.  When he is angry, he is angry.  But when he is happy, he forgets the unhappiness.  Even when he sleeps, he gives it his best!  No one can wake him up.

We were in Jakarta.  Elias fell asleep while waiting for lunch. He slept through lunch.

He may mature slowly, but he often catches up and surpasses others in areas which he used to lag behind.  For example, he took a longer time than his brother to learn to ride the bicycle.  Yet today, he is the more daring rider.  He used to be scared of heights, but now he is often the first to climb up to any height.

Elias now has a fearless spirit

Children like Elias simply need people to believe in them while they grow into their destiny.  That faith in them, is their protection, so that they do not break nor give up along the way.

Is it easier to have a child who does not run headlong into life and therefore gets himself bruised so easily?  Maybe. It will be less painful for us, as parents.

But this is our child as is given to us.  We love him.  The world might not understand him, but we must.  The world might not believe in him, but we must.  We must walk with him.  We will walk with him.