Give them roots and wings

Tonight we found Elias’ wallet, which I wrote about in my earlier post.

When I suggested, two years ago, that he writes “I love my family” in place of “I love my school”, it was not just to comfort his little heart. It was a commitment I made to him.

Among other things, it was a commitment that as a family, we will support him in everything that he does.  If he loves something, we will try to love it as much as he does.  If we cannot, we will at least try to understand it.

I love my family.

Today, Elias had a spot of sunshine after the rain.  We found a bird, drenched by the heavy rain. Elias and Samuel were delighted by it.  Elias asked for some bread to feed the bird and we all went chasing after the bird so we could give it some food (poor, traumatised bird).

Elias and Samuel are trying to feed the cold and terrified bird.

Later, the bird went huddling behind a flower pot, shivering from the cold.  I allowed the children to watch it but not to touch it, for fear that it might be sick.  However, after a while, Elias came asking, in a piteous voice, and great compassion in his eyes: “Do we have something to dry the bird?  The bird like quite poor thing leh”.

How could I refuse such a kind and gentle heart?  I gave him a small towel and he gently, gingerly covered the bird with it.

Elias gently putting the towel on the bird.

Happy Elias!

Elias had come home from school today with something heavy on his heart – he refused to tell me the cause of it.  But I know that caring for the bird made him happy and lifted his spirits.  Although it cost him precious hours of study time, and the family two towels and a piece of bread, it is something I would do again, anytime. Before we slept tonight, we placed a little box outside our house, so that the bird could take shelter in it, in case it rains again tonight.  We placed a second towel inside – for whatever it was worth to the bird, that is, if the bird does go into the box….

Some people think that I am too soft on my child.  Maybe I am.  Maybe I should have told him that he should learn to take better care of himself and his school work before trying to take care of someone/something else.  He would be frustrated with himself and regret that his personal failings have prevented him from alleviating the suffering of the bird.  That will in turn motivate him to pull up his socks so that no other animal will henceforth suffer due to his weaknesses.

But I am unable to do that.  I cannot bear to see him hate himself.  I do not have it in me to dampen the pure love of a child for another living thing.

Caring for animals is something which Elias loves to do.  I do not share the intensity of his love for animals, nor do I have his special touch in handling them. But supplying him with bread and towel and sincere, unequivocal support – that I can do.

That is another way I show him my love.