Live and leave without regrets
I always worry about losing my children, physically. Each time I read about sudden deaths of children, I would wonder about the purpose of their short existence on earth. My questioning is not from a callous angle, but from a great sense of regret over what their lives and contributions could have been.
My paranoia over the possible sudden “departure” of my children influences my parenting in two ways. Firstly, I strive to always bid my children farewell/goodnight on a loving and positive note. Secondly, I strive to enjoy them, and help them enjoy the “Present” as much as preparing them for their future.
There is nothing bad in the first thing that I do. I do find, however, that there is some trade off between living in the “Present” and preparing for the future, especially in a fast-paced environment like Singapore.
For example, the children love to chat with me when they are supposed to be doing their work. Sometimes it is because the work which they are doing reminds them of something, and they want to share it with me. I frequently hear myself stopping them mid-sentence to tell them to tell it to me later because “you are running out of time!”
Most of the time we don’t get to talk about it later because they needed to move on to the next activity, or we had both forgotten about it. Whatever it was, that magical moment of a shared experience would have passed.
That is why I enjoy articles like “Top five regrets of the dying”, because they remind me again, of what is really important. As a Singapore student, the accumulation of knowledge is of paramount importance. However, what good is that knowledge if the brain in which it resides dies? If, however, that knowledge was shared, before that life ends, that knowledge would have served its purpose.
So I must remember to listen my children more, no matter how silly and purposeless they may sound to me (“Mum, do you know that the Chinese “超级市场” is a direct translation of the English “Supermarket?”)
I must teach them to share their thoughts and ideas with as many as they can. It is their observation and interpretation of the world.
Once they share it, it would have been multiplied through them. Once they share it, it would have been made immortal through those who received it. In that case, even if they were to suddenly leave this world, their existence on earth would have had much purpose.
Is it morbid to constantly live as if you are going to die? I don’t think so. It allows us to really fulfill our destiny, and live and leave without regrets. The truth is, we really don’t know when we are going to die.
