Give them roots and wings

Yesterday we had a lovely gift from the children.

As part of my new approach to life, and to maintain my house’s newly-achieved status of being spick-and-span, I have decided to “use up” all the paraphernalias we get from various sources, as soon as we get them.

(If you have children, you will know what I mean by parapernalias.  The kids get lots of stuff, from school, church, their enrichment classes, vendors and through the post.  They are little crafts for the children to do, contests to participate in, instructions for all manner of things from ‘how to make ice-cream’ to ‘how to swing your golf club’).

This is from Ikea.  Samuel did a Suduko! I was so impressed.

There was this thing which Elias got from school, as part of the Preventive Drug Education Programme. It is this cute little contraption for the children to write down the things that make them happy – from level 1 to level 6 (Level 6 being the happiest).

I scribbled their answers on the boxes, and dated it.

So I “interviewed” them to get their answers.  The answers surprised me a little, which goes to show how much confidence I had in our upbringing and parenting philosophy.

These are their answers for Level 4-6:-

Level 6 happiness – Elkan – being with, and being loved by the family
– Elias – being with the family
– Samuel – playing the Wii
Level 5 happiness – Elkan – playing the Wii
– Elias – playing the Wii
– Samuel – playing with Gor gor Elkan
Level 4 happiness – Elkan – playing with my phone
– Elias – being with friends; reading
– Samuel – being with the family

Edmund and I have always endeavored to bring the children up to love the family and to be fiercely loyal to it.  Yet, it came as a surprise to me to know that simply being with the family brings them the highest level of happiness (except for Samuel, which I can explain, for now, with the fact that he is too young to understand).

Recently, I had a discussion with a friend about whether our children will be seen as dumb and become socially inept when we keep them away from things which children in our culture enjoy and play with, like TV, computer/phone games and guns (for boys).

That has been my concern all these 10 – 12 years when I was raising Elkan and Elias.  But I continued to keep them away from such items because I trusted my instinct.  After all these years, I believe that I did the right thing, because the boys are completely happy and full of positive energy and spirit.  They are neither friendless nor weird.

Anyway, I do not think that my children have a deprived life.

Last Friday night we went to the Science Centre for an IMAX movie, and the Star-gazing session.

Dinner at Macdonald’s! (Yes, I know, again..)

That’s Elias in red.  Samuel is standing on his own.  I am with Elkan. Obviously, Edmund is the photographer, standing at the main Observatory, where the big telescope is housed.

On Saturday, we went to the Bird Park – leaving the home before 8:30am and returning home only at 4pm.  What made the children happy, were the simple things.

Elias won a toy at the games stall

Samuel was really impressed with the magician who swallowed a rocket balloon (Kiki Tay is really good.  He really entertained and made us laugh)

The boys really enjoyed feeding the Lorries. (I only had $3 for a cup of feed. But thanks to Elias who found some ‘abandoned’ food, everyone got their own cup!)

We all enjoyed watching the clever parrot!

It was the same for mummy, who was hilariously happy with her kids gamely (game – catch the pun? haha, I am so corny) posing as little chicks in the giant nest.

Hey, my babies!

In the night, we watched this AMAZING BBC science documentary titled ‘Things you need to know about Science’.  Highly recommended for school-going children.  But I was too tired, and since we were all cosy on the bed with the air-conditioner on, I fell asleep while watching it.

After church service on Sunday, we went for a family lunch gathering.  The children got to run around and play with their cousins.  By the time we reached home at about 2:30pm, Edmund and I were quite drained.  But there was still a dinner at my mother’s place where the boys got to play again.

After dinner, I brought Elkan and Elias for the Gifted Young Musicians Concert (GYMC), with compliments from Mei, Elias’ flute teacher. They enjoyed it, that being the first time they listened to an Orchestra, but even they were tired by then.

See, my spirited boys.

When we fill our children’s days with love and shared experiences, we do not need to give them other forms of entertainment.

My favourite moment of this past weekend happened when we were watching the science documentary.

There was a really funny part and Elkan and I turned to look at each other, laughing away.  It was a simple gesture – we both did it without thinking – but it spoke volumes, of our sense of belonging and connection.

I am very aware, that as the children grow, they will desire to identify with their peers, and they may change. We would make adjustments as are necessary.

But for now, I know that my children are experiencing Level 6 happiness everyday, with the family.

I think that is the best tribute any parent can receive.