Give them roots and wings

A week or two ago I had a pleasant surprise.  While looking through Elkan’s table, I found an activity sheet which he did at church.  The children were asked to list down the best gift they have ever received.  Elkan wrote “Parents”.

I asked Elias whether his answer was the same, and he said yes.

I have written earlier – at Level 6 Happiness – that being with the family gives the children the highest level of happiness.  However, it surprised me that they would also describe their parents as being the best gift they have ever received.

I once read a touching, philosophical article about Love (The Brain on Love), by Diane Ackerman.  I quote portions of it here:-

“Brain scans show synchrony between the brains of mother and child; but what they can’t show is the internal bond that belongs to neither alone, a fusion in which the self feels so permeable it doesn’t matter whose body is whose. Wordlessly, relying on the heart’s semaphores, the mother says all an infant needs to hear, communicating through eyes, face and voice. Thanks to advances in neuroimaging, we now have evidence that a baby’s first attachments imprint its brain. 

The body remembers how that oneness with Mother felt, and longs for its adult equivalent.”

As I mother, I relished the thought that my child relishes that oneness with me, and that he would spend his whole lifetime looking for the same thing.

Another part of the article moved me in another way:-

“A happy marriage relieves stress and makes one feel as safe as an adored baby. “

For some strange reason, reading that statement makes me think about an un-adored, or un-wanted baby.  Something makes me want to cry, and want to reach out to the baby and say – “Let me be your mummy, and let me love you”.

Tomorrow is Singapore’s Children’s day.  For Elkan, this Children’s day is his last, because he would be a Youth next year, and not be eligible for Children’s Day anymore.  Yet this year’s Children’s Day is turning out to be a non-event for him, because he missed the school celebrations today, and will be missing the Cardboard Dreams tomorrow because he fell sick and is still sick.

But I do not feel sad for him, because I know that his birth was celebrated, his every smile returned, and his every pain soothed.  He is of much worth to us, his parents, and his family.

Missing a fun event is a small thing.  Not having a family is a loneliness that never goes away.

There are many children who are growing up lonely today, but that can change.

Focus on the Family recently launched The Gift of Family Campaign, where Focus on the Family encourages people to watch a two-minutes Gift of Family video.  For every new person who watches the video, Focus on the Family receives a $1 donation.  It is just a click away.  Will you help those children, by giving them a healthy family?