Give them roots and wings

This is written, in appreciation for, and as a tribute to Chinese teachers. Yet this story has a sad ending.

I really appreciate the children’s Chinese teachers. It is not easy being a Chinese teacher, because so many are weak in the subject, and dislike the subject. I know of parents who despise the subject, and see little reason why their child has to learn it. No doubt the attitude gets transferred to the child, making it even harder for the Chinese teacher.

It is different for me. I have written before, I love the Chinese language and culture. Actually my Chinese is not strong. English is my main medium of communication and I do not know many Chinese classics. But I have the proficiency to enjoy Chinese songs and literature, though with some effort. I enjoy the challenge of communicating (including blogging and praying) in Chinese but I am weak at it, and feel very conscious talking to people who are strong in Chinese. In short, I am just an shy admirer of the Chinese world.

One of the reasons why I love the Chinese culture, is its emphasis on moral training. It comes across so clearly in the children’s oral, composition and school texts.

One of my favourite chapter – it is in the P5B textbook.
老师的话 － The teacher’s words.

妈妈有话说，
老师也有话说。
老师和妈妈一样都是爱你的。

I want my children to do well in Chinese. One of the other reasons is also because their Chinese teachers put in so much effort in encouraging them. I appreciate how they recognise the excellent traits my child has (其实他很多方面都很优秀). I appreciate how they bother to separate certain students from each other because they simply cannot get along. I appreciate how they identify children whom they need to specially take care of (要抓紧他).

It is not that the other subjects teachers don’t do that. It is just that with the other subject teachers, the discussion is so often administrative, operational and about content. We so rarely talk about the child himself.  I don’t really know how to put it, but I always come away from my meeting with the Chinese teachers feeling that they cared about him, but from the other subject teachers that they cared about his results in school.

I think this has again, got to do with the Chinese way of thinking – which is more emotional and generally more holistic, as vs the Western way of thinking which is more logical. I want my children to learn Chinese because I want them to grow up having a holistic perspective, and caring holistically about the world.

I have tried the “Speak Mandarin” campaign many times in my home. I have failed as many times. This year I became really desperate. Firstly of course, my no 2 is taking his PSLE.  Thankfully, my no 1 managed to score an “A” for his Chinese last year. It made so much difference to his aggregate score. Without saying more, I can only say that I need to pray much harder this year if I want the same thing for my no 2. Secondly, I realised that secondary school Chinese is tough. My hope of leaving my no 1 alone in Secondary school Chinese was dashed.

So I re-started my “Speak Mandarin” campaign, and this time I was much more insistent. It caused a lot of grief to my no 2. There were a lot of banging on tables, tears and a period of cold war. I had to be heartless. (唉，要做一个好妈妈是需要这样的。我是做得不够好，才会落到现在这个地步。）

After about two weeks of it, he came back yesterday suddenly speaking to me in Mandarin. I could hardly register what he was saying, because my heart was simply filled with joy, and I started tearing.

Yesterday was the day he shared the song – 听妈妈的话 by Jay Chou with me. His Chinese teacher showed it to them some time back, and the class watched it again yesterday. He said that he would learn the song (This is because I started a reward system where the children will get a bubble tea for every Chinese song they learn to sing).

老师要你听妈妈的话。
妈妈要你听老师的话。

He said that he did not start speaking in Mandarin because of the song. But I am not sure. Somehow I believe that it spoke to his subconscious. 谢谢你，许老师。他开始发芽了！真的没想到会给我等到这一天。

And that is the last reason why I want my children to learn Chinese. I cannot imagine the Western culture having a beautiful song like that, written in honour of mothers. There is so much selfless love and beauty even in the Chinese pop culture.

But as I said, this story has a sad ending. My youngest child is dyslexic and has a speech delay. Both reasons make it difficult for him to learn English, and therefore Chinese too. I have just applied for him to be exempted from Mother Tongue – Chinese.

对不起，华文老师. 这并不是我所要的。我知道有很多家长恨不得自己的孩子可以不用学华文。但我真的希望我的孩子都能学华文。我从我的老大，老二学习华文的路程学习了很多我应该和不应该做的事。我多么希望我可以运用在我老三的身上。但他真的太幸苦了。可能我不够毅力，但我真的觉得很无助，我不知道该怎么帮他。他的时间不多，集中力与精力也有限。在新加坡，他一定要学英文。我只能选择一个。这并不是我所要的。

I am sorry. But thank you. I will continue to help him learn Chinese in other ways. Perhaps one day, he can pick it up again.