Give them roots and wings

My husband and I are currently taking an online course at “Business Leadership School“. In one of the lessons, we learned about “Mediating Grace”. What it means is that it is God’s plan for people to carry His love and care to humanity. People are to carry his gifts and power, knowledge and answers for mankind. (For my Christian readers, you may refer to Matt 25:31-46, 1 Cor 12, Eph 4:8-16)

I have read those verses so many times, but it is only recently that I really understood it in a deeper way. The lesson on “Mediating Grace” was held on 25 Jan 2014, and on 24 Jan 2014, our foster baby came to us.

I was told about the baby the Friday before that. After praying and agonizing over the weekend, we told MSF (Ministry of Social Development and Family) on Monday, that we were prepared to take the baby. I got a call on Thursday, and was asked to pick up the baby on Friday.

I had the busiest Thursday/Friday/Saturday I have ever had. You see, we had been prepared to take a 3 year old, not a baby, so we did not have any baby stuff with us.  I worked till 6pm on Thursday, and after dinner, we brought Elias and Samuel over to the hospital to visit the baby, and to see what stuff he has got, and find out from the doctor/nurses on what medical/physical needs he has. The boys were very excited. I also sent out my whatapp appeals for baby stuff.

On Friday morning, I went to borrow a car seat. After sending Samuel to school, I had to attend a pre-arranged meeting, before picking up the baby. Elias had finished school by then and he wanted to go with me, so we went together. After that, we went to get the baby cot. We did not have time to settle down because it was cell group night and we had to conduct an office dedication. Another church friend came over to help me prepare dinner for him (because I had forgotten what a baby needed), and her husband bought the rest of us dinner (my husband had to go for cell group early). She also got me a milk bottle from HER cell member when she heard that I did not have one. So thanks to her, baby had a milk and water bottle that first night.

After cell meeting, we came back and Edmund put up the cot before we retired for the night, past midnight. On Saturday, after I finished work, we picked up the baby highchair and baby’s permanent car seat from another friend. We were given some clothes too.

Over the next few days, all the other stuff came in.. playpen, stroller, pusher, bibs, more clothes, and even a hair cut!

This is baby’s cupboard!
We already had some stuff.. but for a 3 year old…
We were given so much clothes by friends..
I had to think of a way to organise them…
I hope they look organised…

This is a portion of the toys we got for baby.
I managed to clear a part of the
kids’ toy cupboard for his stuff..
I was so proud of myself!

The reception we got over the Chinese New Year was mixed. But we were very happy to have him along with us. So few people knew about the fostering scheme, and we were glad to be able to tell them about it, and show them that it’s not impossible to do it.

The family has become more busy because of him, but it’s a fun kind of busy. The boys have also matured as a result of this experience.

I have been told, that it is easier
having four kids than having three.
I have to agree!
I am busier, but so is everyone else!
The house is a buzz of activity every evening and weekends.
The car is fully packed.
We are overflowing with life!

Elkan is not in the pictures above, but the sweetest interaction I had with respect to baby, was with him. Once, while I was carrying baby, Elkan started patting him on his back. I thought he was hitting him a bit hard, like thumping, so I said/asked “Why do you pat him so hard, it hurts, right?” Elkan said, “I don’t know. Daddy used to do it to me. I liked it”.

I was incredulous, because he must have been quite young then. Elkan insisted “Yes, I remember. Daddy used to do that. I liked it.”

If I was not carrying the baby then, I would have given Elkan a big hug and kiss.

I like it that the boys are learning what it is like to replicate their own experiences, and to model us, their father and mother in caring for another child. That is what mediating grace has come to mean to me. Edmund and I mediated God’s grace to our children, in loving and caring for them – teaching them God’s ways of living their lives, and caring and loving for people. They in turn, are doing it for Baby, and hopefully for their circle of friends.

But to me, the most beautiful picture of mediating grace was the picture below.

In the photo above, Samuel is reading for Baby. There is nothing extraordinary for a 8 year old child to be reading. But my readers know, that Samuel is dyslexic. Even up to now, reading is still a laborious and painstaking exercise for him.

The book he is reading, is “God makes nighttime too”. It is a book which I have been reading for him since he was a baby. He never wanted to read it on his own, no matter how much I coaxed, pleaded and threatened him.

But on the second day that Baby was with us, he picked up the book, and read it once through for him. He made mistakes, and I had to help him many times, but he did it.

I was so proud of him. But what moved me particularly was this – that which I could not make him do, Baby did.

Yes, when I brought Baby back, one of my purpose was to teach my children new lessons, about caring for another, about sharing their home and family, and to expand their hearts. Never did I think that I would get something in return this way, and that moved my heart tremendously. It reminded me too, of the mediating grace I had received from people, all through my life, and with regards to bringing up my children, e.g. in meeting people who gave me hope about Samuel and taught me how to teach him.

Mediating grace – that is such a beautiful concept. Jesus mediated salvation – something which we can never earn ourselves, and no other human can do for us. But for many many other things, He chooses to use people.

I believe this is a message which everyone, not only Christians, can understand, and learn to live. But I want to share a Christ-centered quote from our text because it demonstrates so well what children of God are called to do.

“Christ is our apostle, our prophet, our teacher, our evangelist, and our pastor. He alone is all things in and of Himself, but He has distributed, splattered, broken, separated, dispensed and broken off those dimensions of His private ministry, and put them corporately into many, many men and women in the body of Christ, who are able to mediate that authority and some dimensions of those ministries in different situations”.

That is such a deep truth, but Edmund and I learned it in such an unexpected place. It may look to many, that we are the givers, and Baby is the receiver. But I think life does not work that way. We cannot help but to receive when we give. That is the way God has designed the universe. We are ALL mediators of God’s grace.

(This is a fostering story. For more information, please go to Fostering in Singapore.)