Keep running, holding hands
Samuel was awarded the “Best in Progress” Award at Speech Day today. It’s such an encouragement and a thrill. We were all so proud of him.
I like the school he is in. They do differentiated learning (which to me, is NOT a bad word) from P3 – P6. They have top two classes and last two classes, allocated by ability. The other classes are for mixed ability. Normal class size for P3 – P6 is about 40. But for the last two classes, the class size will be about 25 and 10 respectively.
Elkan was among the top classes, Elias among the mixed and Samuel will be among the last two classes.
I liked that system, though it is not perfect and does not cater to all sorts. (The system differentiates students according to academic ability and not learning style or personality. That doesn’t work for some children, because for these children, their academic outcome is highly dependent on their relationship with teachers and classmates. I have one like that. But I don’t blame the system. No system can cater to everyone. As a parent, I know my children and I will just try my best to compensate for whatever the world can’t do for them.)
Elkan was bright, but not consistent and not very hardworking. He was in the second best class and had an enjoyable four years of his school life. I suppose his class was more easy-going than the top class but the students were as quick witted as he was and they had great fun learning and bantering in class.
For Samuel, I am sure he would benefit from a smaller class size, and to be among friends who are close to his academic level. It has started to sound cliched but I just want him to have friends and to enjoy learning. Knowing that he would be given a learning environment suited for him relieves me of some stress.
Does it embarrass me that my son is “different”? Does it bother me that there were many who received an award today for being Top in class, Top in Mathematics/English/Chinese, etc? The first no, but the second a little. The first no, because his difference has made me a better mother, him a person of stronger character, and his brothers more compassionate. He has made us a better family. The second yes, because honestly, it takes me extra energy to “not mind”. I know what the world values. It appreciates hard work, but it idolises success. I know that man’s applause is empty and his approval fleeting, but still I desire it. Still, I wish it for my son because I know he would enjoy it too. It is meaningless and it can be an entrapment but it entices. It is the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, the pride of life.
But I am pragmatic about our situation. It is not something I can change so I might as well embrace it and learn to deal with it. My pragmatism (which I suppose, is really wisdom) will probably save my soul.
Indeed, Samuel doesn’t always enjoy being who he is. Sometimes he would cry under the stress of having to work so hard all the time, and he’d complain about being different. He would cry about not getting full marks when his friends and his brothers can. I would let him cry and after some time he would come round. He has also come to understand that he doesn’t have an alternative and he has just got to keep running. When success comes, it will come, but in the meantime, we just got to keep running.
One of the nicest things Samuel has ever said to me was this,
“You and I are holding hands, running together”
He was referring to me working with him everyday.
We have our fun too.
Every Monday we go to the playground.
He loves playing with the children there.
One Monday, it was so hazy that no other kids were out.
But I would always be there, to play soccer with him.
We watched Big Hero 6 today. We loved it.
(Please excuse the photo. I had to find a way to make it fit…)
The main character, Hiro had a sweet elder brother – Tadashi.
Samuel has two!
In the two pictures on the right,
Samuel looks sullen, because he was upset
that he got a Maths question wrong.
He would not listen to my explanation.
Elias offered to explain to him.
(And he did it very patiently and nicely!)
Later, Elkan explained to him too.
With the weight of two little men added, he grudgingly accepted it.
Aren’t my boys totally sweet? *Melt*
Recently, a friend said that the Singapore educational system is very competitive. Although her son’s results were good, he missed getting into the top class by less than half a mark. Yes, it is true that sometimes we can miss the mark by just a little bit, but I do not think that “competitive” is the correct word because it presupposes that there is a competition going on. It presupposes that the children did excellently because they “strived to outdo others for acknowledgment, a prize, supremacy, profit, etc” (according to Dictionary.com). Although I am sure that there are children (or parents) who treat education as a race and proof of superiority, I prefer to think that most did well simply because they were extremely bright and conscientious. Perhaps the better way to phrase it is simply this – there are many good students in the Singapore educational system and it is difficult to be counted among the tops.
There are many good students out there, and I wish my sons are among them because that would make my job as a mother so much easier. Unfortunately, they are not (for different reasons), and thankfully I still love and enjoy them extremely (Phew! For them and for me!) We work with what God has given us, and what fun it has been! How boring it would be, right, if we only get “finished products” – with nothing to work hard together for?
I work hard with every one of my boys, but this story is about Samuel, and everyday, Samuel and I do work together. Everyday, he learns a little bit. The breakthroughs come in spurts. When they come, we are delighted (“you remember!” “you know!” “well done!”). There are days when nothing gets done, and when he seems to have forgotten everything. But he makes progress.
He used not to be able to do work independently,
because he could not read.
Now he can do it.
At the library today, he typed in the search terms he needed
and he read about Marine Fire fighters.
What he can do now may not seem to be a big deal for most children
(like his elder brothers),
but it is a big deal to him.
He earned every bit of reading and spelling he can do today.
I am so blessed, to be able to walk so closely with him so far. It is tiring but it is not a chore. It is not a burden because he is my son and I enjoy him so much. I am so proud of any progress he makes, whether he gets an award or not. If he didn’t get the award today, we would have gone to the dentist, and we would “do work” at home. As a family, we would have our own celebrations and we would give out our own awards. But he got a school award today, and for that, we have one more thing to rejoice over.
We went to Swensen’s today!
But some days back, even before we knew Samuel was given the award,
Samuel wanted to have a room picnic
because he got 9/10 for Chinese Listening Comprehension.
We played Bubble Talk and the best thing was
this time round, he could read and choose the captions on his own!
But my favourite is this “home-made” award,
which Elias did for Samuel two years back.
Elias can be a really sweet brother sometimes.
I think one of our objectives in life is to understand who we are, what we can do, accept it, and be the best “us” we can ever be. As parents, I believe that is something we must help our children do too.
Well, Samuel, you are the best Samuel I have ever known! The best is yet to be, because we are going to keep running! Let us all keep running together 🙂
