Give them roots and wings

Children have no sense of time. They live in the “now”. To them, “now” is as long as eternity, whether it is when they are playing and they do not want to stop, or when they are waiting for something and they do not want to wait anymore.

We did a staycation at Changi Village Hotel in June.
This was at the Changi Beach.
Elias and Samuel still enjoy playing at the playground.
They went to play although it was getting hot.
Edmund, Elkan and I preferred to stay in the shade.
Playing without concern for the time or consequence
seems to be something which only the young can do.

As we grow up, part of maturing requires us to learn that we live in a limited world, and time and tide waits for no man. So we learn to rush, and we strive to accomplish as much as possible within as little time as possible.

Part of the staycation was a half-day visit to the Changi Airport.
The kids went down the T3 slide, we visited the mobile aviation exhibition,
watched Daisy, did some shopping, plane-spotting and had lunch.
Quite eventful, isn’t it? But it didn’t really feel that way that day.
It felt like we were “wasting” time, because we kind of just wandered around.
I thought this picture tells it well.
Samuel is onto his third crayon rubbing,
and Edmund is trying to be patient.
We adults are not used to such leisurely activities.

As we grow even further, some of us may begin to realise, that there are things that cannot be rushed, no matter how efficient, effective or resourceful you are.

We ended the staycation with a visit to another part of the Changi Beach.
We are still the “camera timer” generation (as vs the selfie/wefie).
There is something quite satisfying about getting the timing and photo just right.
To not have to rush to get into the picture,
and not have to wait and smile for too long…

Time is a necessary ingredient for healing, growth and understanding. Life needs time to grow and relationships need time to build. There are things in life which can never be accomplish simply because we do not have the time.

I have recently picked up cooking and baking again.
While it can be fun, and earns me some bragging rights, it is not the love of my life.
So I just learn enough to be able to cook as a host, to bake for friends,
and to give the children the experience of having a cooking/baking mum.
One thing I learnt about cooking/baking
– the less skillful you are, the more time you need.
But even a skilled cook/baker needs time.

The people you spend time with, are the people you love. Actions speak louder than words. Someone told me that I think this way because my language of love is time.

Well.

Last Friday, we went to my parent-in-law’s place. It was Hari Raya Puasa, and the helper was given the afternoon off. So we went over to help watch over our parents, and since the children have not visited them for quite a long time, we thought it was a good time for everyone to catch up as well.

Of course, being a tiger mum, I got the kids to bring along some work while we also brought some games.

So there I was, teaching Samuel Maths, in particular how to read the weighing scales. Elias was doing his Maths, and Elkan was writing his Chinese composition (Yes, I am being boastful. I was very proud of them!)

In the meantime, Edmund was in the bedroom, teaching his father to use the hearing aid. More than half the time was him trying to convince his father of the need to put on the hearing aid.

“You cannot hear me…” “Yes, for the past 3 minutes I was talking to you, and you could not hear me at all…” “You can hear yourself, but you cannot hear me…” “No, it is not difficult… see, so easy… there are three buttons, this is the on/off button.. this is to make it louder, and softer…”

The children heard everything too. They were rather amused.

After Ah Gong put on his hearing aid, the kids talked to him.
Elkan asked him about what he did when he was younger,
and Samuel told him a joke!

We all spent about 2 hours doing our work – Maths, Chinese, Weighing scales, and wearing the hearing aid.

Finally, it was all done, and we had our snacks and games.

Featuring our favourite “Bubble Talk” again!
I love the game, but I often don’t get to play (because I have to be the judge).
It was the same for this game. I was the judge again.
“It’s date night and I’m on the prowl” and “This can’t be legal” were Elias’ cards.
“I wonder when my wife will be home.” was Samuel’s card,
and “Forget to take your meds?” was Elkan’s card.

It was one of the most meaningful afternoons we have ever had together. Despite the heat, and although the environment was not too conducive, the children completed their school work and learnt an important object lesson on how to love the elderly.

It was an afternoon that was made possible because we dedicated that 4-5 hours to them. Yes, we managed to integrate the children’s school work, and family time together with it all. God was in it – He was in the planning and the execution, so such that everything went on so smoothly. But we could not have done it in an hour, or even 3 hours. We would never have been able to do it without making time in the first place.

We must give time to those whom we profess to love. For me, I have recently learnt too, that I must pray for those whom I profess to love, and you can’t pray for anyone/anything without making the time to.

The problem is that we have so many people to love, and so little time. So the best way is be clear and honest about our priorities. To me, I have chosen my family.

Relationships take time to develop and mature. We need time to laugh and cry together… time to get hurt and offended by each other… time to recover and forgive each other… and time to re-build on a stronger foundation… and the cycle repeats itself.  Each time the cycle is repeated, the relationship is strengthened. Without that mileage, relationships will never develop and mature.

We start off self-centered, arrogant, lazy, petty and weak, and we grow to be patient, considerate, responsible, strong and wise… and we do it together.

Who are the people whom you want to walk that journey with? Whoever it is you choose, make sure you spend time with them.