Give them roots and wings

The house is very quiet. The two noisy ones in our family are away as part of a Mission team to East Timor.

They flew off on Saturday, and that was when we first read the news about the death of a 12-year old TKPS girl in the Sabah earthquake.  Over the next few days, we were told that 6 students, a teacher and a guide were killed, and another teacher and student were still missing. But on Saturday, the rest of the entourage were still missing.

So when I sent them off at the airport, I had mixed feelings.

This was a selfie taken by Edmund.
I could only drive them to the airport (as vs see them off),
because I have another commitment.
It was strange for me, because I am the very “attached” type.
I would love to see them disappear
before my eyes as they walk through the customs.
But on that day, I had to just leave them at the entrance.
I could not even give a final hug to Elias because
I ran to the toilet while Edmund was unloading,
and by the time I came back to the car,
Elias had gone to the toilet, and I had to drive off….

I was so proud of them.

This is the lovely team they were going with.
Prior to the trip, they had to meet to discuss many things.
They are on a “Sports Day” trip – so they discussed what games to play,
what gifts to give out, and what to teach (the children).
They spent quite a few nights and afternoons doing it and packing.
Each one of them had to carry a big bag of gifts for the children.
Besides Elias, there were two other children.
Go, have fun and make new friends!

Edmund had wanted to go to East Timor for some time, and I knew Elias was the best person to go with him. They are both excellent problem-solvers and enjoy being in the field.

Yet I felt somewhat disconcerted about them being overseas, in the light of recent events. If I had the chance to change their minds about the trip, would I? But I did not try to.

Pastor prayed for the team before they left.
I do not feel a lot of anxiety, not because I trust in God’s protection.
But because they were going in obedience to God’s call.
In that case, there was no question of disobeying God,
whether it was a dangerous mission or not.
When God calls, we just go.
Whatever the outcome may be,
may we all be able to say “It is well with my soul”.

So now everyday, I look forward to news from Edmund about what they did that day, because that would mean that they are safe.

This was among the first batch of Edmund’s “Image-package”.
Viqueue – where they stayed the first two nights.

This was their hotel room.
They had to change room because the first room had tiny black worms.
It would have caused Elias much delighted disgust.
I could imagine the mock horror on his face.

Their dinner on the first night!
Looks good!

The TKPS team which went up to Mt Kota Kinabalu kept a blog. They documented their climb up and there were many congratulatory comments when they made it up to Pendant Hut. It was such a happy blog. The blog has now been made private, understandably.

For this reason, I was hesitant about documenting Edmund and Elias’ trip in this blog, before they have actually returned. It is not superstition, but I am not sure how I would manage it emotionally, reading this blog post, if anything serious WERE to happen to them the same way it happened to the TKPS team.

In the end, I decided to write it, because this is a way for me to deal with the confusion I am experiencing in my mind, and in my heart. (A sharp reader would have noticed, that I said that I felt disconcerted, and yet I said I do not feel a lot of anxiety. Contradictory huh. Yes, I have conflicting emotions. So? I am a woman, dare you challenge me?! 🙂 )

I like to blog, because I have so many complicated thoughts,
and am so intense in my emotions.
I blog so I can give the people around me some rest from my intensity.
I also blog so that I know clearly what I really think, and how I really feel.
It gives me the clarity which I need, and is often a beacon of light for my future self.

In the words of JRR Tolkein’s Treebeard, “The world is changing. I feel it in the water, I feel it in the earth, and I smell it in the air.”

Day 3. They were enroute to Dream Centre.
This is exactly the kind of thing that Edmund likes to do – 
– take photos among the clouds.

Yet somehow, when you are in Singapore, you do not think the change will touch you.

It is ironical in a way, because Singapore is so well-connected. Yet, for those of us who stay back in Singapore, we do live in a bubble of security, in our clean, efficient little city in a garden, as comfortable in shorts and slippers at wet markets and hawker centres as we are in suits and heels at Jason’s and Michelin-starred restaurants. We have everything we need and more – world-class education, healthcare, technology, safety & security, entertainment and the list goes on.

They organised games for the children in all the villages.
This is them, at the Dream Centre.

Singapore has made a name for itself, so the world comes to us, and we can remain who we are, yet still have a taste of the world.

We went to watch the SEA Games Atheletics Competition yesterday!
Yes, the SEA Games is not the world…
but we did have the YOG in Singapore in 2010!
Anyway we had fun today at the National Stadium.
We cheered madly for every Singapore contestant,
and were delighted when Shanti Pereira got us a bronze!

And if we want more – we go on an exotic holiday and the children go for expeditions. It is a perfect situation. Until something goes awry.

I do not think Singapore will remain untouched for long.

Elias told me that nothing can happen to Singapore, because Singapore is not susceptible to earthquakes or any natural disaster. But I am not too sure, because I know these are the last days and all these disasters are the beginning of birth pains. In any case, earthquake is just one possible form of disaster.

This is the blood moon,
as seen next to our Singapore Flyer on 18 Oct 2014.
The references to it in the Bible are in Joel 2:31, Acts 2:20, Revelation 6:12,
where “the moon will turn blood red”.
Signs of the second coming of Christ, and the end of this age.

How then should we live? We can start shrinking back, but it will just keep coming closer and closer till we have nothing left to stand on except our lives and even if that kind of life is worth living, that will be taken away from us too.

I miss the two of them, because they are the life of our family. They are the most disruptive and annoying (oops!), so there is much peace at home now, but there is little fun when they are not around.

This was among last night’s “Image-package”.
See the heart-shape made from the torchlight strap?
That’s not from Edmund, it’s from Elias.
When Elias is with me, I would get many of such things every day.
No, they are not all “love” type of messages,
but just one interesting thing after another which he wants to show me.
I can’t recall them now, but one day,
I shall incorporate them into one of my blog post.

I am glad that we have adventurers in our family. You go before us, and you give us courage. You tell us it can be done and show us how to do it.

We should not live in fear – it is pointless. The bible says “The just shall live by faith”, and we need to be always prepared.  The truth is, I only started to learn to be quick(er)-thinking, (more) aware of the situation, and (more) responsive after I met Edmund.

And imagine my delight when I found Elias so much like his father in that area. (So in the event that Edmund is not available, Elias can take care of me…).

So, anyway.. things are a bit scary for me back home now, without the two of you… so do come back safely… 🙂